Relief aside, I was very worried that babyB has died and that is why I am feeling so much better. To be honest, there is not an hour that goes by in the day where I do not worry about the baby having died, but over the past two days I started worrying about how I am going to miscarry with the cerclage in place and with my colourful history of bleeding to near death twice before, and no OB on a radius of 500 km, no operating room, etc. You know, the usual stuff that remote rural crazy pregnant people should worry about. Oh, that and the fact that there are only four units of blood here in town. Total. If I start to bleed, that is NOT going to cut it, man!
So, after playing my exsanguination fantasies in my head for a while, I went to use the ultrasound machine in the hospital. I was not able to see anything on it last week, so I did not have much hope, but this week the little smurf was a lot bigger, and there was an obvious heartbeat, and that is all I cared to see. In my